Lies, copycats, and more lies

What is wrong with parents these days? What the hell are the lessons kids are learning? I spent the largest part of my life dealing with children and teens over the last 25 years. Each year kids seem to get a little worse as a whole. I’m not saying there aren’t still great kids and great parents out there because there are, the rapid decline of morals instilled in our younger generations just seems to be lacking in most.

Twenty five years ago when a child made a commitment to something parents taught them that following though on their commitment until it’s conclusion was a must. Now more and more parents let their kids do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and change their minds like they change their clothes. A kid signs up for a sport, one day, mid season they decide they don’t feel like doing it any more and the parent lets them quit the very next day. There is no thought to how it will affect anyone else on the team. The only thing most kids know today is that as long as they are happy no one else’s feeling matter.

Each year I have seen it more and more. Recently it has now grown even worse which I didn’t think was possible.  Not only can kids do whatever they want without regard for others, now to make them quitting something and leaving teammates suffering look like they were right, the parent and child makes up stories and lies about other children or adults involved with the activity. Hey, if the people they are around are that horrible they deserve to quit or jump ship to another team, right? My question is how many times do you let your kid do that before you as a parent should realize the problem might be your child and not everyone else around them.

I have kids I dealt with 25 years ago who still contact me to chat or for advice because they have also gone into my field.  The last 3-4 years of kids all of a sudden are positive they know more then I do already. How dare they think it’s right to come back and bad mouth what I took years building now, just because I’m not their anymore. The best kid was one who used multiple pieces of my old work and tried to pass it off as her own the whole time bad mouthing me! Day after day and week after week I get messages about what’s being said and done. What am I supposed to do about it? I’m already sick and now let’s kick me when I’m down. The smarter parents realize they are dealing with some crazy people and don’t listen or follow. Then you have the parents and kids who blindly follow whoever has the biggest mouth. I’m beyond words at this point. I wonder why I am so depressed all the time. Well it’s easy for me to see now after sitting home for months thinking about it. Kids today think everything revolves around them and as soon as something isn’t the way they want it their parents swoop in and either demand change or let the kid quit. There is no accountability. Parents are raising their kids for the world as they want it to be, not the world that is actually there.  Kids used to misbehave and the parents backed the adult in charge of them. Now! It’s what did the adult do to force the child to feel like they had to misbehave! What???? I can’t stand being around kids anymore and they used to be my life! Sadly it’s not their fault it’s this generation of parents. Parents are getting more blind to reality on a daily basis. All kids are not equal!!!! There’s the non politically correct thing to say! Go ahead and jump down my throat with comments. But face it: everyone is not equal! Some kids are better than others at sports, every kid does not deserve to play. Some kids are smarter than others, everyone doesn’t deserve an A! I say all the time I don’t want to live in this world anymore and I really mean it!!! This politically correct, every one is special attitude society is putting into the younger generations head is going to make the world (well the USA) a horrible place to be. We aren’t the smartest, or at the forefront of anything anymore. So many countries have just passed us by! Why??? Because they don’t look at their children and say, “how can we as a society make life easier for you(the child)?” They are demanding work ethic and high achievement results from their children. But no, not here in the good ole USA. As long as kids are “happy” that’s all that matters. Don’t be a parent, be their friend and screw all of us who are trying to make kids take responsibility for anything. Run our names into the mud and make people believe we are the bad guys. I honestly sit around now, yes still thinking I want my life to end, and I want to leave behind a list of parents and kids who when they come to my funeral pretending to care, someone is there just saying FUCK YOU as they pass by and hand them a copy of this blog that says you are responsible as parents to teach your kids that what they say and do does matter and they are responsible for being honest and nice to those around them. They will be given respect when it is earned, not just because they were born!


A “New” Life

I signed up for this blog over a week ago, yet tonight is the first night I actually felt I could write something. Yes, I thought about it a few times, but I couldn’t find the words to start. Twenty one years and one month ago I gave birth to my son. He became “my world”, as most children often do. After a difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery (we almost lost him and me) I took 4 years to stay at home and just enjoy being a mom. We are definitely what most people would consider to be a very close family. My son and I are/were two peas in a pod.

These past three years have brought many changes to our lives. My son started college on the other side of the state, I became ill, my mental state deteriorated because I was sick all the time, and my husband’s stress level was through the roof dealing with it all. After almost two years of struggling to figure out what was going on with me health wise, I got a team of docs who FINALLY started to help. First they diagnosed me with COPD, then found that the COPD was being compounded and exacerbated by a major infection in my sinuses and acid reflux. Separated from each other all of the issues would have been okay to deal with with. Together and untreated for almost two years they were a nightmare. They tried many different cocktails of medications and a sinus surgery and I can happily say about 2 months ago I began to be able to go out of my house again for short periods of time without immediately catching something from the first person I came in contact with. What a blessing! I visited my son at school (Point Park University Conservatory of the Arts) and got the chance to see him perform. With my good news soon followed good news for my son. A job offer!

Everything was a whirlwind of happiness and excitement. As a Dance BFA candidate with a double concentration, he would normally be receiving his degree in 2015, but because of some strong academics and testing out of many classes with the CLEP tests he was set to graduate this May. As a “senior” he began auditioning hoping to have some job offer by the time he graduated. In his case the offer came after audition #1. Now what? “Hey we want to offer you a 10 month contract on a cruise ship, but you have to be in LA in a week!” Again, NOW WHAT?

I got the frantic call, “Mom, what should I do?” He and I went back and forth all day debating the pros and cons of whether to leave in his final semester and take the job. Bottom line, he took the job. Again more happiness (something we hadn’t been accustom to for quite some time) PPU is letting him graduate regularly in May! How, you might ask? He had 5 weeks left and they didn’t “want to stop him from taking a job they had trained him to do.” So lots of extra work went with him to LA that needs to be finished before he is placed on the ship at the end of April, but WOW everything is working out the way my husband and I always thought it would. I’m regaining my health, he’s regaining his sanity, and our son is graduating and has a job. PERFECT! ………………………………….

Yes! It is perfect, it’s what we all want our lives to end up like. We will even have a wedding to look forward to in a year or two, as my son will soon be proposing to his long time girlfriend.

Hmmmmmmmm, he didn’t call me tonight. He didn’t send me a text! I didn’t see a post on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram! Something’s wrong, he must be hurt, injured and in the hospital, sick, something! Remember I said we were close. Although we didn’t speak every day when he was at college, I saw signs of life; a picture or post on some social media. Today nothing! So now what do I do? Do I call? Text? No. I clean my house from top to bottom, do every bit of laundry, cook meals, rearrange 2 closets and give my 2 dogs haircuts! And then of course at 3:30 a.m. I begin to write my first ever blog post. He is fine and I know it, if he wasn’t I would have gotten a call from the company he’s working for. So my brain repeats that over an over so that I don’t pick up the phone 2 inches away from my hand at that moment. He’s 21, on the opposite side of the country. He’s all grown up!

So now I’m left to ponder, what will this “new life” I have be like? And will I like it?