A “New” Life

I signed up for this blog over a week ago, yet tonight is the first night I actually felt I could write something. Yes, I thought about it a few times, but I couldn’t find the words to start. Twenty one years and one month ago I gave birth to my son. He became “my world”, as most children often do. After a difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery (we almost lost him and me) I took 4 years to stay at home and just enjoy being a mom. We are definitely what most people would consider to be a very close family. My son and I are/were two peas in a pod.

These past three years have brought many changes to our lives. My son started college on the other side of the state, I became ill, my mental state deteriorated because I was sick all the time, and my husband’s stress level was through the roof dealing with it all. After almost two years of struggling to figure out what was going on with me health wise, I got a team of docs who FINALLY started to help. First they diagnosed me with COPD, then found that the COPD was being compounded and exacerbated by a major infection in my sinuses and acid reflux. Separated from each other all of the issues would have been okay to deal with with. Together and untreated for almost two years they were a nightmare. They tried many different cocktails of medications and a sinus surgery and I can happily say about 2 months ago I began to be able to go out of my house again for short periods of time without immediately catching something from the first person I came in contact with. What a blessing! I visited my son at school (Point Park University Conservatory of the Arts) and got the chance to see him perform. With my good news soon followed good news for my son. A job offer!

Everything was a whirlwind of happiness and excitement. As a Dance BFA candidate with a double concentration, he would normally be receiving his degree in 2015, but because of some strong academics and testing out of many classes with the CLEP tests he was set to graduate this May. As a “senior” he began auditioning hoping to have some job offer by the time he graduated. In his case the offer came after audition #1. Now what? “Hey we want to offer you a 10 month contract on a cruise ship, but you have to be in LA in a week!” Again, NOW WHAT?

I got the frantic call, “Mom, what should I do?” He and I went back and forth all day debating the pros and cons of whether to leave in his final semester and take the job. Bottom line, he took the job. Again more happiness (something we hadn’t been accustom to for quite some time) PPU is letting him graduate regularly in May! How, you might ask? He had 5 weeks left and they didn’t “want to stop him from taking a job they had trained him to do.” So lots of extra work went with him to LA that needs to be finished before he is placed on the ship at the end of April, but WOW everything is working out the way my husband and I always thought it would. I’m regaining my health, he’s regaining his sanity, and our son is graduating and has a job. PERFECT! ………………………………….

Yes! It is perfect, it’s what we all want our lives to end up like. We will even have a wedding to look forward to in a year or two, as my son will soon be proposing to his long time girlfriend.

Hmmmmmmmm, he didn’t call me tonight. He didn’t send me a text! I didn’t see a post on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram! Something’s wrong, he must be hurt, injured and in the hospital, sick, something! Remember I said we were close. Although we didn’t speak every day when he was at college, I saw signs of life; a picture or post on some social media. Today nothing! So now what do I do? Do I call? Text? No. I clean my house from top to bottom, do every bit of laundry, cook meals, rearrange 2 closets and give my 2 dogs haircuts! And then of course at 3:30 a.m. I begin to write my first ever blog post. He is fine and I know it, if he wasn’t I would have gotten a call from the company he’s working for. So my brain repeats that over an over so that I don’t pick up the phone 2 inches away from my hand at that moment. He’s 21, on the opposite side of the country. He’s all grown up!

So now I’m left to ponder, what will this “new life” I have be like? And will I like it?