Sad and happy: I’m Sappy

I say I’m sappy because at any given moment throughout a day I can go from being the happiest most content person into a downward spiral of wanting to block out the world. I’ve done all of the right things: talk it out, spoke to a doctor, and have been taking medication for depression for a few months now. In the last week I have taken 3 overdoses of sleeping pills.  I thought this last time when I took over 3000 mg (a whole bottle) it would work and I wouldn’t have to deal with another day. Well it didn’t!

 

I am miserable! I can’t even succeed at ending my own life! Everyone tries to give the whole speech on not giving up, you have so much to live for! Well let me tell you I do not! I’ve screwed up so many things in my life everyone in my family would actually be better off with me gone. My fear is that I won’t succeed and I’ll end up being in a hospital hooked to machines. I don’t want to do that to my family. I want them to be able to move on. I need this to work! Please tell me a sure fire way to peacefully end my life! Help!!!

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